shaman's thoughts

In most disciplines of self-improvement there is always a reference to the parts involved. Mind,Body,and Spirit. Another one from the "psychology" folks is the ID, Child, and the Parent. Me, myself and I. I need to start by accepting the parameter that my true essence is of the same source from which all things emanate from. I am PURE ENERGY, LIGHT, AND LOVE. Balance must be maintained as regards to what the body wants, what the mind churns out and the Spirit which connects me to the rest of the universe. I have to start the journey by compassionately accepting the sick, lazy, addicted, loathing, fat, and depressed me as OK. My body and mind have been undergoing a life of mostly negative stuff, abusive drunk parents, unfulfilled dreams, lack of self confidence, failed loves and relationships. All my mind knows is how to react based upon these built in memories and then use my favorite drug of choice(pot, food, crack, alcohol, etc.) to "cope" with the unkind world. I

We do not just hurt our own self when aflicted with addictive behavior. we end up losing good friends, family members, jobs, and serenity just to name a few. My reason for being clean and remaining that way has to be stronger than my habitual desire for the drug of my choice(alcohol, pot,crack, whatever). Years of human history has proven one thing beyond doubt. We all need help! I cannot use the same mind that is aflicted/addicted to reason my way out of the addiction, right? I cannot use the same medium that created the problem to fix it, or can I? Is there a part of this whole aflicted being that can be used to free it from its delima? One thing is certainly clear, there is help for anyone who is sick and tired of being sick and aflicted. The force with which all matter and energies are interacting, is within me as well. To be whole I must learn how to harness this force and be FREE of my pain.

The sings are as clear as the bright Sun at high noon, yet only very few see them. The coughs are loud and the wheezing is obvious, yet the smoker seems helpless in quitting the habbit. For the alcoholic or drug adicted amongst us it is the same battle within. How do I stop doing what I know is hurting me and because of which I have lost most things dear to me? Is it my fate to be so aflicted? Then usually about this time we look for someone or thing to blame. If I had a father around who guided me I would not be here now, if we had more money, if my partner would understand me, if, if, if. Keep reading my good one, there is an answer here.

The only choice I can make is to decide which side of the road I will walk on, the scenery, events and energies on that side of the road are predetermined. If I decide to go to the red light district carrying a big bag of money, I have asked for and will most certainly receive a good beating and my money stolen. I made that foolish choice and the rest was decided upon by fate. (Not fate but the law of cause and effect). So, every day I awake faced with this which road do I walk decision; The results of my decision today will effect my tomorrow as well. Am I wise enough to konw what is in my life's best interest? Even if that thing or action is not so "FUN" will I have the wisdom to know it is good for me? Will I quit the smoking?

Let's go on with our talks on Choice or Destiny. As old an arguement as it has been, we are yet to have a difinative final result or agreed upon answer. Do we indeed have CHOICEs which we make to shape our lives or is the decission being made elseweher in the realm of DESTINY? Albert Einstein said it one way; "The most important choice and the only one we have to make in life is do decide whether we live in a friendly or hostile universef?" Another teacher put it another way; "Every day you must decide again that your true self is spirit not flesh and make your actions, thoughts, and words affirm that." If I have a problem with smoking, say I am addicted to it and can't seem to stop; Who is in charge of my action then? I seem to suffer both physically and mentally from the action of smoking, then who in the world is making me continue to hurt my self? Is the high or rush I get more important than my serenity and health? Did I mean to move to Arizona from whe

Time will come when mothers will use their babies to sit on for the fear of the heat that will be emitting from the Earth. Along with this warning there is a heartwaming way out detailed as well in this holy book. God seems to have always put the two in front of us KIDS and said "CHOOSE WISELY". Forget about all the rest of the story, Sin, and Hell and brimstones, Just check out the fact that I the miserable soul parked out in Arizona USA, have a choice in how I live and die. Well, hell with it all I used to say, I don't want it. Some one get me off this ride please! Some came to help many times over, but I still had TO MAKE THE CHOICE!

Tell me I am not dreaming! Peace in the Middle East, Israel pulling out of Gaza, Palestine a new state onto its own rule of citizens? Say it is so big brother, tell me you'll keep your promiss this time, Please let there be Peace upon this Earht. Say it is enough bloodshed. Say it Uncle dear with all the honesty you can muster this time. You don't have a good track record keeping your word, but for the sake of our kid, will you this time?

What is a rutt? How do we get in and out of these rutts? and how can we learn each episode? Am I in a rutt because I have a routine? I start my day the same way every day, drink the same lemon drink and get on the computer to "stay in touch". I asked these from the teacher and here is what he anwered; "If a small plant is watered daily at the same time, nurtured with good fertile soil and given its needs of light and heat daily, does that plant not grow up to be a shade providing fruit bearing tree? Make your habbits those which nourishe you on the way realizing your place under the sun".Keep healthy habbits the moral is; And don't fret the little stuff.

Even in my lowest, most destructive behavior times ( and they do come around when I have some smoke!) I thank God for keeping the faith that all is well with God. I may be experiencing a down day (dead days) now, but because I have FAITH UNBROKEN I know tomorrow or the day after I will be lifted up again out of my darkness. Each time I go through this, a little part of my "black dog" dies unot his desires and wants, and my geni(spirit within) gets a bit stronger. In short, we all are works in progress not finished products. Death is not the end either, we have to get it right.

We learn only if we are paying attention. The School is the Earth, and the teachers seem to be every molecule surrouning us. Intuitively we recognize and enjoy the company of plants, animals, and even rocks and the oceans. The trick my child is to learn to listen. Be silent long enough for this intuitive relationship to reach deep within you where you and all things around you are but one huge body.

Looking out through the windows in my house of light, I see confusion amongst the mankind on Earth. Each group under a colored cloth with symbols that says "I am separate from you". Wars too seem to be fought over who goes to heaven or hell. Soon enough, my children, soon enough the naswer shall come saying "Nither this nor that, Love is all there is". Indeed the rest is MAYA.

Nothing worth while is ever easy. A simple enough statement, but so deep and profound one can write up an essay on it. Even to be free from our own misguided intelectual self in the end, we have to be ready to sacrifice that which we think of as "ME". Doing this task of letting go of who I think I am and working on the brain to accept the idea of (no-self here) is the hardest battle of them all. All along the journey to become a whole human, we need to learn to remember the spirit within as the true self. A very hard thing for the Ego to accept.

Tao had the idea nailed right on the head with the messege of "the path of no resistance" Dadgomet why does it have to be so hard when it is so simple? Learn to float and attach yourself to NO-THING; how hard can that be? God is the flow of the universal forces at work, and I am trying to change the course! Yeah right!!

Tell me once again master; Cried the seeker "how do I go about seeing good and feeling God in my darkest hours of adiction and seeming helplessness?" TRUTST THE FLOW AND THE HONOR OF YOUR INTENTIONS WHICH HAVE ALWAYS SOUGHT THE GOODNESS OF GOD.

There is no pain greator than the pain of the one who has the knowledge but has not the courage or the heart to put the knowledge to use. So many preaching, so very few actually walking the walk. I too justify when I cannot live up to my own words of wisdom. All vanity, vanity upon vanity upon vanity!

I wrote in big bold letters, on the entry gates to my heart "DO NOT ENTER" Love came along and said "I am illitrate!" If we are all looking for someone to love us and to love them in return, why the breakups? Love is not fickle, it is not selfish, but then nor is it a push over.Standing next to me my love, be as true to your self as you can and allow me to do the same. Happy Lover's day you all!

As hard as it seems at times, a monthly fast of at least 3 days is one of the essentials of good health. The decipline is good for the mind and the body gets the rest it needs while consuming only Water and Herbal liquids one is washing the body from the inside as it were. For as much attention as we pay to the outside of our body, with just a fraction of this time we have the opportunity to clean/detox the inside of our body as well. A sluggish brain makes bad choices.

May there always be work for your hands to do; > May your purse always hold a coin or two; > May the sun always shine on your windowpane; > May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain; > May the hand of a friend always be near you; > May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you. (Irish prayer)

How's about you and me go down the memory lane for a bit? How's about you and me remembering how we got here? How's about you and me? The trick about balance is that IT JUST IS! Without balance nothing can exist beyond saturation. Just how much darkness can we have before light must come in? Be waiting for the light, always my child, be in anticipation of the moment.

On the days that you are feeling good, you're upbeat and nothing seems to get you down; On these days send a little messenger of good vibes to yourself in the future. Imagine yourself at a time in the future when you may need a good feeling to be offered to you for the asking, then meditate on sending good vibrations to that date and time(or an approximitation of that). On the Quantum level of how energies flow, I can guarantee that this method works, just do it and test the results. Happy living my children! Happy living with no regrets.

Where your mind is there also shall be your heart. Good one to live by. It is my intentions that carry my heart's path to love or hate. If I allow negative thoughts to stay (because enter they will!) and linger on why am I surprized that the day turns out to be one shity day? I reach for the bottle of alcohal, I take that pill, I do the drug, why then should be surprized that my hands are shaking and my mind seems to be hurting at the roots of my hair? How long am I going to blame my parrents for my shortcomings? When am I going to accept responsibility for my actions which bring me pain or glory? Keep your mind focused my child on all that is good, make it your mission to get along and bring peace with you. If you wish to fly with the Eagles in the morning, learn not to spend the night with the bats! As you do, so you shall reap.

Aside from the need to procreate which is built in. We all have this deep desire for touch, I just realized this watching a scene in a lesbian after the hours night club. It is not so much the need to be sexually satisfied that is so strongly evident, but rather the calming feeling one gets from tender touch. Moral of the story is that some poor saps have confused their innate need for human tender touch with sexual desire which not having the former satisfied properly, the latter becomes a thing you get from any form of life that touces you gently or softly or often enough.

Learning to let go enables me to stay in the here and now. Toughest thing you'll ever do is not to hang on to gone by yesterdays or not yet here tomorrows. Letting go of all that captures my attention so strongly for example that I do not notice the color of this friend's eyes! Ha? I bet that has happened to you as well. Worried about an unfinished business, keeping the anger inside about something that happened three weeks ago so much so that all someone has to do is mention the subject or bring up the "enemie's" name. Yes my children, we all have to learn to let by gones be by gones and let the grudges, and the disappointments go too. LET ONLY GRACE AND GENTLE ACCEPTANCE RESIDE IN YOUR HEARTS.

"The birth of a man is the birth of his sorrow. The longer he lives, the more stupid he becomes, because his anxiety to avoid unavoidable death becomes more and more acute. What bitterness! He lives for what is always out of reach! His thirst for survival in the future makes him incapable of living in the present."Chang-Tzu Tell death to come any day it wants! Give it no mind at all, for all things will parish. In the HERE AND NOW there exists lessons of our ONENESS in the river that flows.

Once again the man is taught the old lesson of stick-to-it-ness and consistancy. The little child within, that spirit yearning to go home cries out for regular attention to what gives it strength and inspiration. Just as regularly as you drink you coffee, he says to me with the ever present gentle voice of love; Give me that kind of regular attention and see what I can do for all of you! I have heard this cry perhaps a million times in my life time, my little child within, my spiritual self who never seems to get fed regularly and through whom I know is the only way I the man can ever find permanant peace and serenity. But why is it that I falter? Why do I go for a time and feel its gentle power of creation, then leave the little one just when he is getting strong enough to sing outloud? This my child is the dearset gift I could ever give you, to have you learn from my struggle for the strength of the child within. Listen on! keep coming back to read the story of your father's time

What is the hight of my potentials? Am I living up to my full potitial? How would I know what that is, I mean the best of me is somewhere inside me and it is just bursting with possibilities and it is not as black and white as go to school get a degree do this do that and voila! you are potentiated. Some times our fullest potentials are not only realized quite by accident or some mysterious event we could not have even dreamed possible. But do I know it somewhere deep within me? Do I know if I am there now, here today? Well that is one heck of a million dollar question. I have some ideas about the answer, but I'd rather wait and not be presumpteous.