I remember the times when I would rather continue getting high than stop being sickly and fatigued. I remember the times when I had this need to be right and to impose my point of view on people close to me. I remember the times when my churning mind would take off on its own and take the rest of my being with it. I remember also my time on the skid row, living on cheap wine and stealing groceries from old ladies. I remember how hopeless I felt trying to quit the lifestyle and how helpless I seemed against the tides of destiny. I remember also the hope I always kept in the back of my mind through the thick and thin of it. That I am a good human, I have no malice towards any other human and that someday I would be free from all the confusion of living day to day. It is a promise of every sage and prophet, that as long as you come knocking, and believing in the order which is in the universe, doors shall open to you with gooness and grace!
I am really trying to keep my usual positive and hopeful attitude towards our humanity and mankind in general, but recent events have brought the old anger back in me which is really frustration and anxiety about Politicians and the money mongers of the world about which I can take no real action of any significance. I see hunger and destitude in the masses of this U.S. of A, the richest country on earth, I see the very weak and the elderly, the homeless and the hard working class suffer while the political will of some nuts is runnning amock! God help me to accept what I can change and that over which I have no control, and please God give me the wisdom to know the difference. It is nothing new, just different land, different time in the history of the ignorant man and the greed of the fools!
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