shaman's thoughts

Just when I think I am out of the putrid political mud, they lure me back in with another sound byte! May God forgive you hoarding, kniving, ten faced politicians because I have a hard time doing that. Good Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and please father! Grant me the wisdom to know the difference. Ahhhhh that feels better now!

Soon I will have to say goodbye to this land. Not for good, but I would only be able to come back for short visits, to see my kids and grandkids. The process of moving from this comfortable environment to an unknown seems like a daunting task, huge, monumental. Yet it is only because I cannot seem to make up my mind as to how much "stuff" I should take with me. Should I sell the motor home? Should I sell all the computer stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff........ I need to find a way to get organized enough to know what I do have, and this God blessed weather is not helping. Cold and damp and rainy! But I have not really had the heart to even start inside! Part of me seems to say just do what you've doing, go for longer visits back to the mother land but leave the stuff here alone, this is home! But home to my deepest self is wherever I hang my hat, it may be more convenient here but it is by no means any more of a home than it would be anywhere else in the world, even in the jun

There is a certain amount of internal pain one must get used to and accept just as a consequence of being here amongst the Oxygen consuming matter in a human form. A semi sweet sadness for not having all the answers when we need it, not having enough patience to wait until the fruit is ripe, not being couragous enough to change the things we know need changing in our own personal life or the serenity to accept circumstances we cannot change (like the war in Iraq, or the death of my brother in law last week). Through it all, the only sanity preserving force is the same force which created all matter and believing in the awesomly inteligent mind behind it. If I did not feel this sadness, I would doubt my own existance altogether.

Life is beautiful, only not in dreams, Kisses are deliquete,only not out of lust; A bird so beautiful, is not so kept iside a cage; To love is heavenly but not in a mere touch, it is whole when done with all of one's being; I wish I couldadmonish my tears for running and tell my smile to stay a while longer; I wish I could amongst all my life's moments bring the times with you ever closer.

Just had an email from an old friend who spoke of giving up her will to God and letting God lead. Amazing statement, if indeed we have such a thing as absolute free will, it is only to give it up to the one who controls all things and all energies. Once we do that, it is returned to us in ways we could not have imagined.

We will all have to realize sooner or later that, we are not this human body trying so hard it seems to be goodly spiritual beings. WE ARE SPIRITUAL BEINGS HAVING A TOUGH TIME BEING HUMANS! So quit hurting your heads so much my children, being a human is not so easy, I tell you the angels backed off when it was offered them to keep a covenant of FREE WILL.

There was a time when things didn't seem so urgent. There was a place I just visited recently that never left that time zone, not all the way. So just as it is always a good morning somewhere in this world, there too is a place in this world where not all things seem so off and wacky. Do I want to go there right this minute? Well; NO! I seem to thrive on this cofused bunch living in this place called America! And If God willing I might just get my song outa my chest sooner or later. I am after all the catylist for change, so I'll be where I need to be, in good time.

Another one dies in the same neighborhood where there is to be a wedding tonight. A baby is born two streets down from here and the news of Iraqi people dying is on the news. The Tsunami has killed a few hundred thousand innocent folks while a president celebrates his inaugurations. The Sun shines here today and the moon will be full tonight, a child is born to a teenager and hope too is given to a man with no job. I am forever creating; I am forever present! The flood that took the old lady's home along with the rich man's mansion saw no one there.

If we go out into the world looking for reasons to be offended, we are sure to find plenty of them. Now just the same, if we go out into the world looking for ways to create peace and be harmonious, we shall indeed find plenty of opportunities to do so. It is my intentions that make up my daily world.

To all who have children and specially teenagers: LET YOUR ACTION AND LIFE BE THE EXAMPLE TO THE YOUNG, NOT YOUR WORDS OR SHOUTING COMMANDS. To bring peace and harmony, you must first posess it.

Here are a few CHOICE WORDS AND PHRASES I use in my daily life to maintain my sanity: SUCHNESS<>

When Christ said "I and the father are one" the ball started rolling in the direction of trinity even though he never meant for that to happen. When a man and wife become one in all its detailed meanings, does it say that they are one and the same? Of course not, I am one with my father does not make me my father. For the poor souls who have many gods to worship however, it is a necessary thing to have a tangible god they can see and touch in person or in form of a statue or shrine with pitures. But my children know this for a fact, no one is God, and God is not a thing we could put into words or discuss. ONE CREATOR AND A UNIVERSE OF CREATION AT HIS WILLING. A FORCE FIELD OF PURE ENERGY! See! I have already fallen short of a good description! Humble me my Lord.

I meant to say on the phone about how every day it gets easier dealing with this Bush man. That vomiting pain in my guts has gone away because I realized that no matter how I feel, my feelings will not change the man or the circumstances of our times. I am the one with the problem I finally had to accept. If some one's behavior or demeanor, their clothing, their killing of Innocent lives, their addictions; All of the things that I would allow myself to become unhappy about are all my problems. I am the one who must accept a windy day as well as the perfect spring time. I am the one hurting, not the other person so why do I want to hold on to judgmental values which bring me pain and anxiety and sorrow? Why must I allow me to that to me?

"The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the Earth" -Chinese Proverb. Put this in you pipe and somoke it for a while! You are the miracle walking, I am the light of the heavens or the darkest pit of Hell, How I walk this Earht determines that, but a miracle just the same.

A good teacher once told me that the more aware you become of how it all works, the more you quiet down. you will carry a gentle burden, a tender sorrow resides in your heart and a sadness as sweet as honey. The sadness is not apparent to others because in your manerism you'll be beeming with God's light and gentleness. Only deep within you weap for your brothers and sisters who hold so much value for the stuff of this world and who bicker over nothing things.

Perhaps we mistake happiness as a state total extacy and no pain. It makes no sense to be in a world where duality is the LAW and not expect to see pain along with ease, joy with sorrow, darkness and light. Roses have thorns but one can either keep talking about the thorny side of a Rose or the beauty of its perfection and aroma. If I don't expect every thing to go my way every single time and leave room for ups and downs, then Balance is indeed the most acurate way of describing happiness. I AM BALANCED WITHIN AND CONTENT with GOD!

Once I learn how to maintain an inner peace, then I can share it with all others who pass my way. I intend for my life to be a working life towards peacefulness. I intend for my life to be instrumental in hopefulness and joy. Beauty is in all things if I see God in all things. Let your pain be your friend who is telling what you need to do or not do. Let your worries subside in the vastness of all possibilities of your life yet to come. One single day at a time, one single moment at a time, I let go and let God, until I am filled and want no more.

It is not only important to know what you want to do with your life, but that you be prepared to walk the walk which ends in that destination. What are the actions needed for your ultimate goal? I am saying to you that once you figure what it is you really want to do with your life, believe in the possibility and do the actions necessary you will succeed. It does not matter what the goal is, it is important that you are ready to take the steps you need to take, let go of the old "I cann't, not possible" attitudes. Above all, leave room for hardships and ups and downs, but know for certain that if you get the bricks even one at a time, a house can be built in time, no doubt.

If there was a magic wand in your hand with which you could determine beyond any doubt, you true goals and ambitions in life, what would they be? Can you really say what it is you want to do with your life? I have been asking myself this very question for quite some time now, speacially in the last year or so. If I knew for a fact that all I ever wanted or wished to become is possible only after I made my mind up about it. Why then is it that I am having such tough time determining what it is I really wish to have and be for the rest of my life? I have the wand; I have the knowledge, I even seem to be in the right place at the right time, but I just cannot seem to really put a stamp of "ultimate" on any of my wants and desires except for being nearer to God the Creator! go figure.

Why do I keep these diaries? What is it that makes me get in front of a computer daily and say something to be recorded in a public domain? Am I just another yacker on the net? It is comforting to know that I have resolved to give up my will to the one who gave it to me in the first place, and I said: "right back at you dady man" Hey he has no choice, If I don't play, there is no game except WHAT HE WILLS INTO BEING! Bara bing!! I am a happy man.

As I wish and want, so shall I have; As I fear and dread, so shall it be.

Go see (WHAT THE BLEEP DO WE KNOW) if you are interested in how at the bottom of it all life operates in Quantum physics. God not only plays dice with the universal events, but he some times hides the dice so we have to go looking for our numbers. The fact that at the base of all matter is the force of INTENTIONS driving the whole thing is as good a spiritual explanation as any and it actually confirms the turning of the water into wine or the walking on the water thing we all seem so baffled by. Go see this film and be AWAKENED!