shaman's thoughts

Just when I think I am out of the putrid political mud, they lure me back in with another sound byte! May God forgive you hoarding, kniving, ten faced politicians because I have a hard time doing that. Good Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and please father! Grant me the wisdom to know the difference. Ahhhhh that feels better now!

Soon I will have to say goodbye to this land. Not for good, but I would only be able to come back for short visits, to see my kids and grandkids. The process of moving from this comfortable environment to an unknown seems like a daunting task, huge, monumental. Yet it is only because I cannot seem to make up my mind as to how much "stuff" I should take with me. Should I sell the motor home? Should I sell all the computer stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff........ I need to find a way to get organized enough to know what I do have, and this God blessed weather is not helping. Cold and damp and rainy! But I have not really had the heart to even start inside! Part of me seems to say just do what you've doing, go for longer visits back to the mother land but leave the stuff here alone, this is home! But home to my deepest self is wherever I hang my hat, it may be more convenient here but it is by no means any more of a home than it would be anywhere else in the world, even in the jun...

There is a certain amount of internal pain one must get used to and accept just as a consequence of being here amongst the Oxygen consuming matter in a human form. A semi sweet sadness for not having all the answers when we need it, not having enough patience to wait until the fruit is ripe, not being couragous enough to change the things we know need changing in our own personal life or the serenity to accept circumstances we cannot change (like the war in Iraq, or the death of my brother in law last week). Through it all, the only sanity preserving force is the same force which created all matter and believing in the awesomly inteligent mind behind it. If I did not feel this sadness, I would doubt my own existance altogether.

Life is beautiful, only not in dreams, Kisses are deliquete,only not out of lust; A bird so beautiful, is not so kept iside a cage; To love is heavenly but not in a mere touch, it is whole when done with all of one's being; I wish I couldadmonish my tears for running and tell my smile to stay a while longer; I wish I could amongst all my life's moments bring the times with you ever closer.

Just had an email from an old friend who spoke of giving up her will to God and letting God lead. Amazing statement, if indeed we have such a thing as absolute free will, it is only to give it up to the one who controls all things and all energies. Once we do that, it is returned to us in ways we could not have imagined.

We will all have to realize sooner or later that, we are not this human body trying so hard it seems to be goodly spiritual beings. WE ARE SPIRITUAL BEINGS HAVING A TOUGH TIME BEING HUMANS! So quit hurting your heads so much my children, being a human is not so easy, I tell you the angels backed off when it was offered them to keep a covenant of FREE WILL.

There was a time when things didn't seem so urgent. There was a place I just visited recently that never left that time zone, not all the way. So just as it is always a good morning somewhere in this world, there too is a place in this world where not all things seem so off and wacky. Do I want to go there right this minute? Well; NO! I seem to thrive on this cofused bunch living in this place called America! And If God willing I might just get my song outa my chest sooner or later. I am after all the catylist for change, so I'll be where I need to be, in good time.